The pain of secondary Infertility is something that’s crept up on me. We had years of trying for Finn & I had a few miscarriages so was in a quite dark place and thought when I had Finn it was all behind me. Without sounding flippant I was in a newborn bubble so it’s just not something I thought about until he was a few years old. During my c -section I had to have one of my tubes cauterised due to burst cysts but I didn’t really even give this a second thought as I was too engrossed in my new born. Now the time has come I’m starting to wonder what effect this will have along with my existing PCOS.
Recently (well the past 9 months or so) we’ve been thinking about a second baby and have gone with the whole ‘we’re not trying we’re just seeing what happens’ approach at first. I suppose it’s inevitable though that it soon becomes all consuming. All the sadness of first time round has come rushing back and I find myself endlessly on conception forums and doing my BBT before I’ve even opened my eyes in the morning (if you’ve been on the rollercoaster you’ll know.
I know we’re really lucky as I’ve friends struggling to conceive their first child so I know just how lucky we are to have Finn this time round. Despite this It just doesn’t stop the pain though and it’s the whole thought of not giving Finn a sibling which is hard, it’s such a special bond and I’d love Finn to experience it. I’ve had all the heartless comments as well from ‘You can’t let him be an only child it’s selfish’, ‘he’s started pre school now don’t you think it’s time you had another’, ‘ are you not getting on with another yet’ to the most annoying ‘just relax it will happen’ yeah okay you put yourself in my shoes and relax.
I’m also really conscious this time around that I want to be really positive for Finn, last time I could wallow a bit in self pity but it’s harder to take time out now. For now though I’m putting my positive head on and awaiting a referral to hospital, I’ll keep you updated on that whole process. I know this is really garbled and rambly but I wanted to get it all down. I wish I would have wrote about it first time round and I hope this will not only help someone else but help me to get all my thoughts out and in one place.
I’d love to hear from anyone with fertility issues whether first, second or more times round as I really do think as a society we should be a lot more open about it.
I have recently downloaded the Lifecake app and I’m loving adding all of our memories to it. If you haven’t used it before Lifecake is a free app (10gb of storage, extra storage can be purchased ) that allows you to upload your photos which are then viewed in time order. I absolutely love this feature and have already spent far too much time flicking back to the photos of Finn as a newborn. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m forever running out of phone memory and I never get round to putting them onto our computer so the fact they can all be stored in the app is so handy.
Another feature of the Lifecake app I love is the fact that you can invite friends and family members to privately view the time line. It’s like your own private social media as you can like & comment on the pictures. I’m forever sending my parents photos of Finn as they live in a different City, I like to keep them updated on what we’ve been up to. I’ve sent them both a link to the Lifecake app so they can view all Finn’s photos. I love that it’s private as well as you don’t always want to share every photo to social media.
You can order print products directly from the Lifecake app including; prints, phone cases, tote bags, posters, Polaroid prints, fridge magnets, picture books, mugs, calendars and invitations. I forever plan on getting pictures of Finn printed off but never actually get to the shop to do it (and can never work the machines) so being able to print directly from the app is perfect. Family members you have invited can also order print products as well. We usually get the Grandparents a personalised gift off Finn for Christmas so Lifecake will come in handy for that.
I used the Print Shop to order a phone cover. I chose a picture of Finn with Woody at Disneyland as it’s one of my favourite memories so I love being able to look at it all the time. It’s really simple and quick to upload your photo and you can edit it on the app to make sure it all fits on the case. You can even add personalised text which would be a lovely touch for a gift. The phone cover arrived in 2 Days and is really high quality. Overall I was really impressed and will definitely carry on using the app and print shop.
For any of my readers downloading the Lifecake app you can use my code ‘mrsdavies’ to receive 25% off your first order and an extra 10gb storage. Perfect if you’re looking to buy any personalised Christmas gifts. (Valid until 31st January 2018)
* Disclosure- for the purpose of this review I was able to pick a Lifecake product. All views expressed are my own.
I have a confession to make … I am a Baby group addict. I know some people I have spoke to say some groups are a waste of time and money for young babies but I loved getting out and about in the early days and chatting to other new Mum’s.
You name it from baby massage, messy play, baby matters, Mummy coffee mornings, rhyme time, Baby sensory, gardening club, swim a song, playgroup, baby sign we’ve done it.
I like a routine (as much as possible with a young baby) and to be out and about,
so I think when Finn was first born I liked to know there was a group we could go to each day. We didn’t necessarily go to one every single day every week as I didn’t want to put too much pressure on myself, but I liked knowing there was the option. I live in Chester, where I moved for Uni so found it good to meet new people with baby’s the same age.
I know a lot of people don’t like attending because they feel shy about meeting other people, but I’ve always found everyone to be really friendly after all everyone is in the same boat. It really helps to have people going through the same experiences to talk to. Plus there’s usually coffee ,always a bonus.
I found my local children’s centre, libraries, Facebook groups and Mum’s in the know (a Facebook page) best for finding groups. A lot of them were free or minimal charge as well. Now Finn is getting older and I’m back at work we do 2 classes a week (messy play & gardening club) which I will do a blog on soon. I found going to these groups has helped Finn to be confident around other babies and enjoy new experiences.
If you’re feeling nervous about attending a group with your baby or toddler just give it a go us mums love talking about our baby’s so there’s always an ice breaker.
Let me know what groups you love to attend as we are always on the look out for new ones to try.